Am I Really Missing Out? Or Am I Just Enjoying My Rent?
I’m sitting on my sofa, curled up in my cosiest blanket, with a cup of mint tea that’s just the right temperature. My phone is on the table, out of reach for now, and I’m flicking through a book I’ve been meaning to finish. It’s a Saturday night, and as the hours pass, I can hear the familiar hum of my friends' group chat filling up with photos of the band at my favourite jazz club, or the food at the local Spanish tapas, or even the pastries at there best bakers in town.
A part of me feels that nagging tug—FOMO, the fear of missing out. It’s familiar. The sinking feeling in my stomach when I realise I’m not part of whatever is happening. You’ve probably felt it too. That moment when everyone’s having fun without you, and suddenly, your comfy little world doesn’t seem so cozy anymore. It’s easy to think you’re missing out on something huge, something essential to your happiness or to your friendships.
But here's the twist: the more I sit with it, the more I realise that maybe, just maybe, I’m actually not missing out on anything at all. And maybe this whole FOMO thing is overrated.
The Pressure of Perfection
The world today is a constant stream of “must do” and “must see.” You scroll through Instagram, and you’re bombarded with perfectly curated photos—sunsets, rooftop dinners, impromptu beach trips, and spontaneous weekend getaways. It’s like everyone is living their best life all the time, while you’re here doing your laundry for the week and deciding which scented softener to use. There’s a societal pressure that says, if you’re not out doing something cool, are you even really living?
And the answer is—no. At least, not according to the influencers and well-meaning friends who don’t stop posting their adventures. FOMO makes you feel like you’re missing the key to unlocking the “perfect life,” that life that’s always in motion, always filled with people, events, and constant fun. There’s this expectation that if you’re not out socialiaing, you’re somehow doing something wrong.
The Joy of Missing Out: Reclaiming Peace
But then, something strange happens when I let go of that feeling. I think about how good it feels to not be out tonight. I remember the quiet joy of being alone. There’s a sense of freedom in staying in that no one ever talks about. It’s not a sad thing—it’s a choice. The more I embrace it, the more I realise that staying in isn’t something I’m doing because I can’t be out there—it’s something I’m choosing because I want to. I finally can say that I no longer walk through the door and stare at the food that’s been sitting on my coffee table for months, untouched.
In a world that’s constantly loud, I’m learning that quiet moments are essential for my well-being. There’s something refreshing about being home alone, with no obligations other than to take care of myself. No need to make small talk, no pressure to keep up with the latest trends or inside jokes. Just me, my space, and the things that make me feel good—whether that’s an episode of my favorite show, lighting a candle, reading, or simply sitting in silence.
This is where the real shift happens. As I prioritise time alone, I’ve come to realise that this feeling of missing out doesn’t hold nearly as much weight as I thought it did. Sure, there are moments when I feel a little left out, like I’m on the outside looking in. But as I spend more time at home nurturing myself, I notice something deeper—a sense of satisfaction that I can’t get from any Instagram story or weekend adventure.
The Art of Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just face masks and bubble baths, although I’ll admit those do hit the spot. It’s learning to say no to things that don’t serve you, and saying yes to the things that restore you. It’s creating a ritual of peace—whether it’s through journaling, baking, or simply putting your phone down and giving yourself permission to not be “on” all the time.
Over time, I’ve learned to embrace my own company, and I’ve realised that spending time with myself can be just as fulfilling—if not more—than hitting the news cocktail bar in town. I’ve read more books, experimented with new recipes, started a new hobby (crochet, yes, I’m that person), and even reconnected with myself in ways that I never thought possible.
For the first time in a while, I feel in control. I’m not running from one event to the next, trying to keep up with a never-ending list of things to do. Instead, I’m investing in my own growth, my own peace. That feeling of missing out? It fades in comparison to the peace I’ve found in slowing down and being present with myself.
The Secret to Happiness? It’s All About Balance
Does this mean I’ll never go out again? Of course not. I’m still human, and I still love a good hangout or a night out with friends. But the key, I’ve discovered, is balance. I don’t have to say yes to everything. I don’t have to feel guilty for sitting out. And I definitely don’t have to let FOMO rule my life.
Instead, I’m learning to embrace the joy of staying in, of taking time to rest, recharge, and enjoy the simple pleasures of life. And honestly? That’s made all the difference. So, for tonight, I’m happy to be missing out. Because the truth is, I’m right where I need to be. And that, in itself, is pretty damn exciting.
